What it means to be home

It is a beautiful weekend here outside of Austin TX. I am right where I wanted to be. For a long while now I could sense something big coming and you can believe that or not....
I still vacillate between believing it and not. Trusting my own intuition has been a big uncovering for me. I shapeshifted in ways I was not even conscious of at the time and likely in ways I will still not comprehend for some time to come.
The knowings I get and have come stronger these days, but I still resist transcribing what I hear. Those of you who have similarly covered up your shine will understand that cold, clammy sweat that can come about when considering the honesty and vulnerability of that exposure.
But, just so you know...I'm not trying to SELL anyone anything. Never really have been.
{Photo by Anna Hu on Unsplash}
I write, I speak, I teach, I create...to learn and grow and better embody my own life.
I am practically compelled to share my learnings more liberally - yet I still quell myself.
"No one is listening anyway."
Suddenly I remember that I heard that same statement long ago. And I shuttered up. This house looked like it was braced for a hurricane.
{Photo by Annie Sprout on Unsplash} 
You might have known me then.
"This is not the house that pain built
This is not the house that pain built
I was drowning in something, I jumped in the rift
And you knew me back then, when I spat on my gift, but no..."
I think in music, in words, and Dar Williams knew me then too.
I KNOW the beat of this inner work so many are experiencing for the first time. I have devoted my life to it through my journals, my theatre and film, and my writing and yoga.
I hear it again, now...even after all the remodels and upgrades and fresh coats of paint. "No one is listening anyway" also sounds like "Why work on your house, no one is visiting anyway?"
I'll do it for me. It's always been for me anyway.
"It's tough and it's tiring when you go it alone
I learned about wiring, I learned about stone
The building is done but the work's never through
And I won't give up, no how, it reminds me of who I am and where I am now
I remember myself, that's the work that I do..."
I'm showing up to the "new normal" in a house with the windows open. Screens in place - ain't nobody got too much time for mosquitoes and gnats right now. I am working on this house, because I live here.
{Photo by Amir Samoh on Unsplash} 
I would love to see your face on a call. I host an hour-long circle on Friday evenings at 5 central. These circles are places of connection and embodiment. They are confidential and judgment and religion-free zone. We don't talk politics or conspiracy theories - we just practice BEing human with a little movement and mindful meditation.
I also host a circle for Kids & Teens on Sundays at 12:30 central.
You are all invited to my virtual home, just as you have all always had an invite to my house.
I love you.
("This is Not the House That Pain Built" 1993, Dar Williams)

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